Fashion Secrets of Terminal Two
Ever noticed how there's a uniform in the airport departure lounge?
I’m in the wrong business.
£40 for two breakfast sandwiches, two cups of coffee and half a pint of commercial lager at 6am. If you want to make your millions, open up a departure lounge restaurant.
But while Laura and I sat there, nursing cold coffee and warm beer, waiting to head out to Stockholm, we noticed something.
People at airports dress in a certain way. And it all depends on who they are, and who they’re travelling with.
Case in point. Here’s me off to Stockholm with my mate Mike, and then off to Stockholm with my good lady wife. Same trip, to the same event. Different dress codes.
Men travelling with men - tribal signifiers
If there’s a group of two or more men travelling anywhere without female company, then they’re wearing their tribal signifiers. That could be football shirts, rugby tops, band t-shirts, personalised stag do crap, Mike’s weird computer game t-shirts. When men travel together, they decide they’ll represent their hobbies. Doesn’t matter if they’re football fans, clubbers or bikers. They wear their group identity on their sleeves, chests and iron-on patches.
Women travelling with women - glamour up top, comfort beneath
Now ladies travelling together also have a uniform. But it’s entirely more functional than the mens’ version. Immaculate hair and makeup, then clothes as close to pyjamas as it’s appropriate to be outside in. The sort of get-up that makes sense if you want to be able to kip all the way to the sun, but be ready to hit a beach bar within minutes of checking in. Inflatable neck pillows are optional, but can be worn fully inflated above a grey or pastel pink hoody.
Couples (young to middle-aged) - a smart casual date
Surely you’d expect him to be rocking a retro 1974 Leeds top while she wears an oversized t-shirt and a sleeved blanket? Tough. You’d be wrong. Couples dress differently to their single-gender travelling counterparts. They dress like they’re off to a nice village pub for a Sunday lunch. A nice jumper, and either jeans, chinos or a longer skirt.
Couples (middle-aged or older) - Sunday best
Then, when travellers hit a certain age, you suddenly see more formal attire. Trainers disappear, and nice leather shoes take their place. Blazers and collared shirts increase in frequency. We’re at the other end of the scale to our single-sex parties entirely here.
It’s weird. Nobody’s ever explained the rules of airport sartorial etiquette to me, but there it is, plain as day. An observable truth that people visibly act in identifiable ways due to demographic circumstances.
Remember that, the next time someone tells you customer personas aren’t worth the paper they’re written on.
Something mint - this sports team logo
They’re called the Gutmann Gladiators, and they’re a beer-league hockey team. They do two things. They fight hard on the ice, and they drink hard off it. Believe me, we were on a table behind them, and they put back enough ale to drown a #copywritersunite meet.
A simple message. An inspiring one, to men of a certain age.
And this logo is the perfect encapsulation of that message. Because great design just has to be message-led.
PS: “But Andrew, what about your traditional Christmas curmudgeonry?”
I know. I know. Next week, I promise, I’ll start my annual takedown of the festive adverts.
Seriously. You thought I’d let a fucking Venus Flytrap slip through the net?