We're all just lizards, aren't we.
Oh cripes. He's gone all David Icke
You’re a discerning individual, aren’t you.
Course you are. You’re subscribed to this newsletter. That makes you a person of impeccable taste, not prone to any ridiculous urges.
And as with any discerning individual, I bet you make all your purchasing decisions rationally, don’t you?
You weigh up pros and cons, before settling on an informed choice.
Smart cookie.
Shame it’s bollocks.
We all like to pretend our decisions are made by our rational, conscious, decision-making brains. It’s a nice thing to believe. We’re not swayed by marketing, or propaganda, or hormones, or being six pints deep.
We are all rational actors in our own lives.
Yeah. Total bollocks.
See, we like to think we’re rational people overcoming the instincts in our monkey brains, but the truth’s far more scaly.
Most of our snap decisions are made by our reptillian brains. It’s the old part, the one that means you’re running away from the tiger-shaped shadow in the bushes well before your human brain can explain that tigers don’t live in Salford.
It’s a good survival instinct. Old code, wired right in to the guts of your brainstem, that says “don’t think, act!”
Problem is, it doesn’t just react to threats. It reacts to rewards too.
By the time the offer’s been parsed through our monkey brain meat into that rational human decision making part, the decision’s been pretty much made. All that careful weighing up? It’s basically post-hoc rationalisation so you can con yourself into feeling like a conscious, rational actor in your own life.
Deep down, we’re all just lizards, really.
So next time you’re trying to provoke an action - let’s say in a client - don’t ignore all the clever rational arguments for taking that action. But make sure they’re tied to some sort of threat or reward your prospect’s lizard brain can’t ignore.
“This is a sensible way of working” sounds good to the human brain.
“It’s guaranteed to make you a big successful smarty-pants like all those other people you want to be like” taps right into the lizard.
Put them both together, you end up with something that sounds a little bit like this:
What? You didn’t think everything on our website was written for rational actors, right?
Hook the lizard, then give the human ammunition to ride that scaly bastard to customer-town.
Marketing, innit.
Something unmint - sex doesn’t always sell
Well yeah. Fine. Megan Fox will appeal to the sort of man who can’t spell perv, but will indulge in some mild ogling. Especially when she’s wearing something that’s basically 90% cleavage.
But it’s selling Megan Fox. The lizard brain is going “ooh, Megan Fox! I like Megan Fox! I like cleavage” (your mileage may vary here, based on sexual preferences/tolerance for shit acting) and the brand’s got a hook in.
Then it does nowt.
There’s nothing here for that human post-rationalisation. Am I buying it because it’s tastier than other iced coffees? Is it perhaps more highly caffienated so I can stay up longer watching those interminable Transformers films that spend more time gazing up Megan Fox’s tailpipe than showing robots punching robots? Is it cheap? Is it powered by AI? Is the can 100% recycleable? Are the beans from a Peruvian commune that’s never even laid eyes on Megan Fox? Did Megan Fox lick each bean seductively so drinking it is a bit like playing tonsil hockey with a Hollywood actress?
Nah. It’s just ice coffee.
There’s nothing to transform that reptilian desire into sapient action.
It’s not good.
A retraction.
You may have noticed there was no email last Friday. That’s because I forgot until Friday morning and couldn’t be mithered I was mired in protracted legal wrangling with famous actor turned copywriter Ben Hampson, whom I incorrectly claimed did not have an IMDb page.
He does.
Ben Hampson does have an IMDB page.
Here he is in “Crimes that Shook Britain”
Sorry Ben.
Not sorry for posting that screenshot. It’s not my fault you can’t screenshot the Channel 4 app, 12 minutes and 30 seconds into this episode of Fresh Meat where you appear and use a horrendous American accent.