What's another word for free?
Want people to complain about what you give them? Give it them for free.
Before I leave for the match on a Saturday morning I, like most football fans, have a bit of a routine. I walk the dog on the same route, put on my luckiest lucky boxers, and load up Twitter/X/Whatever to see what nonsense people are whinging about this time.
Ahead of Leeds’ season opener, the target for opprobrium wasn’t the team, or the opposition, or the fact that the half empty barrel of Leeds Pale in the boozer’s definitely been sitting there since last season.
No, this time, the issue was with the podcast the club’s most popular fanzine puts out. It usually lands on a Friday afternoon, but due to holidays it was being livestreamed at 10:30am on the day of the match.
So how did the sensible, normal people react to this free podcast arriving slightly later than usual?
“Not much use when I leave for the game at half ten.”
“Paid too much if you can go on holiday this close to the season.”
“Fucking joke lads.”
And on, and on, and on.
I see it all the time. A client pays me to do a job - they tend to treat me with respect. It’s a professional relationship.
Someone asks me for advice and I take ten minutes out of my day to respond gratis - more often than not they take offence at everything they don’t agree with.
The comments sections in free-to-read media are full of shit-slinging, anger, and accusations. Those on paid-for platforms are usually more sedate, calmer, open to discussion.
It’s all psychological. When it’s all freebies and favours, things don’t match up.
Give someone something for free, and you want them to acknowledge how much value they’ve been provided with. How beatific you are. How kind, wise, generous. Givers gain, is the refrain. And what a lovely refrain it is.
In your head, you’re putting pressure on your audience to give you something back.
There’s a disconnect between expectations here. One that creates friction.
Because in their heads? They’re asking what value? No money’s changed hands. They asked for a favour, either you can help or you can’t, and there’s no thought of reciprocity.
Unless your freebie is exactly what they asked for you’re wasting their time. And if it is exactly what they asked for? Well good work Mother Teresa. You’ve met their minimum expectations. Go polish your fucking halo elsewhere.
What’s another word for free?
Worthless.
And nobody’s getting thanked for worthlessness.
If you want credit, do a good job. But always make sure it’s a job.
Something mint - this bit of email simplicity from Seven Bro7hers
Don’t overthink it. You sell beer. Customers want beer. They like paying less for beer.
Subject - QUICK! Get cheap beer
Header - Get cheap beer NOW
Body - Here’s the code for that cheap beer, use it STRAIGHT AWAY
No messing around with asking your customers to engage with your brand on social media, no triggering the “this is a chain letter scam” portion of the brain by linking your offer to some attempts at signal boosting.
Just “do this for cheap beer.”
So simple, I’ve shared it. I’m just sorry that the beer offer’s most definitely expired, so you’ll have to pay full price for the six pack of honeycomb stout you now definitely quite fancy.