I don't want a present

But that doesn't mean I want nothing

I know, putting an invite to your own birthday party in a newsletter is a bit egotistical. But people liked the line I was drawing attention to.

The bit they didn’t get was the “no gifts” part.

Who doesn’t want a gift on their 39.85th birthday?

Well, me. If I want something, I usually buy it. Usually because I’ve seen a good bit of copy. Naming no names, dbrand.

No, I don’t want stuff. But that’s not to say there isn’t anything I want.

Quite the opposite. There are three companies I’d sell my nan to work with. So, you know, if you’re enjoying this newsletter and have the contacts, make the intro.

Leeds United, obviously.

I’ve written for football clubs in the past. Back as a junior, I did Aston Villa’s on-hold marketing scripts. Even though I’d not forgiven them for the 1996 League Cup final. I did an alright job. I’m 18+ years better at this now, if Leeds are in the market.

And believe me, I couldn’t do a worse job than some of the crap they put out. The Bates era slop. This nonsense from a year back.

I actually pitched LUFC as a client when I was a baby freelancer. The nutcase running the club had fired pretty much everyone, and I was cheap.

Not cheap enough, apparently.

Lego, for the love of god, Lego

We nearly had Lego last year. We nearly had them, white labelled, through an agency client.

Ben and I were giddier than two kids at Christmas being presented with a shitload of Lego.

Imagine the fun you could have writing for Lego. It’s an amazing brand, and it’s fun. Plus you also get to write about all the tie-in stuff. Star Wars. Stranger Things. Ghostbusters. NASA.

It’s not that I don’t like writing about car repairs and acquisitions and tank armour (all things I’ve written about this week) - but just once I’d like to write about Lego.

Any client who is serious about putting their message first

You know what? It doesn’t have to be Leeds. It doesn’t have to be Lego. It doesn’t even have to be a brand beginning with L.

All I want from my career is to write for businesses that are keen on having something to say and saying it well. Clients like I work with every day of the week. The ones who trust us to get to the crux of what they need to put out into the world.

What do you get for the man who has everything? More of the same please.

Something mint - Dulux getting shitty

I don’t know what’s in the water in South Africa, but ads from that part of the world crop up here quite often. I think it’s because they’re often a bit blunt, a bit funny.

Take this spot for Dulux. It’d never ever run here. When Dulux want to show someone choosing a custom paint colour that nobody would think to stock normally, that person would be inspired by an old china teapot, or the shade of a summer sky.

I’ve seen those ads and I genuinely can’t remember what the inspiring shade was.

This one though. This one I will not forget.

It won’t have me running out to paint my walls baby crap brown, but it’ll certainly have me thinking Dulux when I want an exact colour for the office.

Or the bathroom.