Putting the FUN into "FUck No, it's a festive ad roundup"
Yule like these. Not a lot, but yule like them.
My first vivid Christmas memory isn’t actually a memory of Christmas at all. It’s a memory of writing a Christmas list at my nan’s in Ordsall sometime between 1989 and 1991. An Argos catalogue was involved, as it always was. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles probably featured prominently.
So because I’m a filthy capitalist child of Thatcher’s Britain, I associate Christmas not with babies in mangers or good deeds, but with adverts1. Adverts like these classic ones that the wife and I spent our Sunday evening watching.
Fast forward through them and pick one almost at random.
Odd isn’t it?
They’re all fun.
None are making a big social point about Christmas transcending its Christian origins to become a catch-all multicultural Western festival. No re-enactions of the Battle of Vimy Ridge and a promise that 0.5% of profits on every selection box will go to war orphans. No breathy covers of Agadoo as an old dog dies of loneliness on the third fucking moon of Uranus.
Just fun ads, selling you fun shit for a fun Christmas. And, inexplicably, a massive focus on blank tapes.
Run a fun festive ad now, and you’ll cut through all the worthiness and really make an impact. Like this one.
Christmas Adverts 2023 - The Good - Tesco #BecomeMoreChristmas
I’m always cynical about the supermarkets’ Christmas ads. People watch them and think “I’ll go to the supermarket that’s nearest to my house unless there’s a special offer on beer/turkey/wine/cake/gin at somewhere slightly further away.”
For years, we’ve sat through worthy, downbeat spots that don’t bother selling you anything. And that bastard Aldi carrot. But Tesco have decided to actually enjoy themselves for once. It’s practically a checklist of what makes a great Christmas advert:
Festive iconography. Dad’s a Christmas tree, mum’s a snowwoman, there’s a pudding and a gingerbread figure. It feels Christmassy in a way a carnivorous plant on a trampoline never, ever can.
Upbeat atmosphere. Cheesy music. Parties. Cheeseboards. Joy. Darts. Family. It’s unapologetically enjoying the season in a way that advertisers seem to think is a bit naff.
Universal appeal. Everyone watching this can either remember being a too-cool-for-Christmas teenager, or dealing with one. It feels like a Christmas everyone’s had or is having.
It’s selling the products. You’d be amazed how often festive ads forget to actually sell us anything. That god-awful Sainsbury’s ad from 2016 haunts me like the chain-laden ghost of Jacob Marley, hanging there with no product shots, no call-to-action, and James Corden’s attempted singing rattling through my soul like the screams of the damned.
It stays on message. Tesco’s all about looking after your family with affordable products that are of a decent quality. Not M&S luxury, not Aldi’s dirt cheap but still edible. No, decent enough stuff at a decent enough price. That shines through here.
Honorable mentions: Primark’s “It’s Here!” campaign is a cracker (pun intended), and Amazon did successfully twang my one remaining heartstring with theirs. There’s also a lot of fun with this TK Maxx ad. And all three stay on message.
That’s the good, but what about the bad? And the downright ugly?
Come back next week, and I’ll tell you.
In the words of the wise and brilliant Olivia Downing, I have metastasized the meaning of Christmas with materialism. Blame that Argos catalogue.