Wondering why your tone of voice doesn't work? It's because you're lying.
Want customers to hang on your every word? Start telling the truth.
I could get sued for telling this one.
There’s a customer I worked with way, way back in the mists of time. We’re talking pre-603, in-house days. Can’t tell you where I was, because the Ops Director says if I ever mention any work I did there she’ll sue me.
But back then, the copy department was me, two apprentices, and occasionally Greg. We had no processes, no set products, definitely no tone of voice workshop toolkits. So tone of voice prep work basically went like this:
“How d’you want to come across?”
“Professional but friendly. Human and honest.”
Yawn. Enter the client. Let’s call him Rodrigo.
“How do you want to come across, Rodrigo?”
“Stupid fucking question is that pal. Make me sound proper fucking professional, and proper fucking warm.”
Fair enough. Warm and professional. Basic beige. Wrote the copy, got Greg to check the commas, sent it, signed off, published.
Three weeks later, I get called over by a team leader. One of the account managers is on the phone with Rodrigo. I’m handed a headset and told to listen in.
“What do you mean it’s not working? I’m looking at the data now, Rodrigo. Site visits are up. Conversion rates are up. It’s working.”
“Well I ain’t making any more fucking money am I?”
“OK, talk me through the process. How do you handle enquiries?”
“I fucking talk to them, don’t I.”
On and on it went. For my own amusement, ten minutes later I grabbed my mobile and rang Rodrigo to see just how he was talking to them.
“Hi, is that-”
“I’m fucking busy now pal, so hold your fucking horses yeah?”
“But I want to ask ab-”
“I said I’m fucking busy. Ring us back later.”
There’s that mystery solved, eh Rod?
It’s no good spending loads of money on copy telling the world you’re really professional and really friendly if you’re basically a bit of a dick. Believe me, speaking as a bit of a dick, I know.
That’s why I always use a tone of voice that makes me sound a bit of a dick. Some people like it. They’re happy to work with me. Those that don’t like it wouldn’t like me. So in the words of my mate Rodrigo, fuck ‘em.
An honest dick always gets on better than a dick who lies about being cuddly.
Something mint - two signs pulled from my Google photos account
I’m organising my Google Photos account1, and I came across these two signs I snapped pictures of back at the Toronto Light Festival in February 2018.
I love them.
I love them because they’re funny. I love them because they’re authentic - that knowing, wry tone was pretty much the personality of the whole festival. No lying about who we are here.
But I love them because it’s message first applied to public notices.
The brief here, the deliverable, is “write us a sign stopping people from littering, smoking, drinking, etc.”
The writer’s gone “OK, cool. What’s the actual message you’re trying to get across? What’s the most basic way of describing what you’re trying to say?”
“Don’t be a dickhead, you’re here to have fun.”
I think this signage balances a warning against antisocial behaviour and that feeling of fun and warmth really well.
Although now I’m definitely getting sued.
It says right there.
“No over analyzing this sign.”
Although as you read this, I’ll be on a beach in Kefalonia. It’ll be 1:30pm local time. I’ll be having a pint of Mythos and some paprika crisps. Feel jealous. Go on.